Would be entrepreneurs sometimes have family members, often it’s the spouse, who don’t understand why you’re not spending every spare minute with the family . You have a dream. You’ve probably even voiced that dream to them…more than once! You’re doing it for them! You’re trying to figure out how to build your business online as you’re building it! Sometimes it’s not so easy and it takes time.
Still, they just don’t get it. I know for my own situation my wife didn’t have a clue what I was trying to do. She said she did but her actions and reactions said something different.
They don’t get that you’re sacrificing time now so you can spend a whole lot more time with them later. Quality time with a better financial situation. You want you and them to be able to do anything, any time. It’s tough though especially if you only have your spouse. What I mean is if you’re a very young family and it’s just you and her or him. Or if you’re an older couple and the kids are gone.
It’s harder then because as you spend time trying to get it done they’re left to fend for themselves. Some people are better at it than others. I know one guy whose wife was convinced he just didn’t want to spend any time with her. I know for a fact he was doing it all FOR her. In fact, if he hadn’t been married to her he probably wouldn’t have been doing it at all. He wanted HER to have a better life.
When Your Dreams Aren’t Their Dreams
I have to admit, I never really considered that a spouse couldn’t care less about having some sort or level of time and financial freedom. I mean completely opposite of what you think and dream about. I suppose it’s possible but I don’t get that. And you probably don’t either.
Surely you’ve thought “well, they might not get it now but when they see the money and I don’t have to go to that job any more…”. Right? How can anyone not want a more abundant life? Different things make different people happy I know but if you have the financial means the choices expand a whole bunch. If this is not your first goround, you’ve probably had some failures. That doesn’t make it any easier with a non understanding spouse.
Maybe it’s that they want to protect you from failing. Or maybe they just don’t know what to do with themselves or how to help or…who knows what it might be. Learning how to build your business online doesn’t affect just you.
Forgive yourself. You might be saying “forgive myself, for what? I’m trying to do the right thing here!”. I know. Turns out, this is part of the difficulty of building your dream. You don’t have to feel guilty because they don’t yet understand completely, or at all, what it is you’re trying to do. You don’t have to give up on your dreams either. You have to find a way to get on the same page. Or at least in the same book:).
Resolving Resentment As You Build Your Dream
Your family may not understand or really resent your online business vision. That doesn’t mean they resent you. It’s not you. I didn’t really have to tell you that did I? 🙂 It has EVERYTHING to do with the time, money and attention you’re giving it. In a word, they feel neglected.
This could be interpreted as harsh but it has a lot also to do with maturity as well. You’ve heard the old saying, which I’ll paraphrase to make it timely, “behind every successful spouse is a great spouse”. To put it simply a mature person will understand and an immature one won’t. Don’t ask me how I learned this.
The best way to deal with the issue is to deal with it head on. Do not assume they know and completely understand what you’re doing and what it takes to do it. And don’t wait til something blows up to talk about it. Make those people feel as important as they are in your life. As important as the success of your startup. THEY are the reason you’re doing it. Remember, sacrifice now for freedom later. In the beginning time isn’t going to be on your side, so make the most of it.
If your family is feeling left out, see if you can find something they can help you with. Sometimes if you get them involved in your business, they feel like they’re a part of your grand plan and are more likely to understand and support you. They can help you get to answering the question of how to build your business online.
Set Clear and Firm Boundaries
Before you set boundaries with a spouse, set them with yourself. Whether you decide to work from 9 – 5 or 5 – 9 there will be times when your family violates your time and work flow. Make it clear to them that when you’re working, you’re working…period. As an example, in the beginning I would work on my business from 3P-10P Monday through Thursday. If my wife has some legitimate emergency with the house then obviously I’ll get it taken care of but…
there was an understanding what my business days and hours were and the house stuff was tended to Friday and Saturday. Sunday is a day of rest. Let me emphasize that; do rest, do take time off. A day off will do more for your production the rest of the week than all the coffee in the world. God rested, you should too.
You know how you can’t or couldn’t stand your boss. When you got home after a shippy day at the office, you let it all out to you know who. Don’t do that when you’re building your business. You may already be walking on eggshells where your home business venture is concerned so don’t give them anything they can throw back at you and prove them right. One of the great things about building a business online is the various communities of people who are of the same mindset and doing the very same thing you’re trying to do.
You need someone outside the family, outside your regular click who you can talk to and ask questions of. Believe me no matter what stage you are in your business, someone has been there and, not only gotten through it but can tell you how to get through it.
Use them not only for business questions but also to get things off your chest. It’s possible they might need a sounding board too! You’ll likely find someone who has already been through what you’re experiencing. They may even have some suggestions to help with the not so great support you might be getting at home. They just might have some breakthrough suggestions for you as you figure out how to build your business online.